Couldn’t resist that title, sorry. Nonetheless, I realise I’m treading on politically correct hallowed ground here, so I shall continue with caution.
A few months ago I was in the car, and as I pootled down my very quiet residential street an enormous Audi pulled out in front of me at a crossroad. It was my right of way, and his path was clearly marked with a stop sign. My beloved Rover was literally three inches away from collision and I was, of course, fuming at this person’s incompetence, and to demonstrate this, slammed the horn. His response was to turn around and give me the finger. My blood boiling with fury, the most cathartic word I could manage to expel with force was ‘TOSSER!’ Glaring at him, he then rolled down his window and shouted back to me, ‘Racist!’
I was speechless. The fact that this guy was Asian had never even crossed my mind. Anyway, he drove off and I continued to, in that quintessentially British way, mumble under my breath about the injustice of it all.
Having put the incident to the back of my mind, I was walking to a friend’s house the other day when a seemingly inebriated guy shouted across the road. ‘Hey baby! You’re foxy aren’t you?’ Now my usual approach to this kind of idiocy is to ignore it, or perhaps glare at the offender in a suitably disgusted way. The latter was the approach I took this time, which simply yielded the response ‘Oh yeah! I like them with attitude!’. Stampeding on ahead, I then upped my game by shaking my head and rolling my eyes. The bloke in question then turned to his grinning friends and slurred ‘That white girl, I guess she doesn’t like us blackies eh?’ And then they all laughed and high fived each other.
And then this morning, as I was coming back from the shops, a man hawked back an inhuman amount of mucus and spat it out on the street. Now I find this absolutely disgusting, and cannot see any justification whatsoever for spitting on a public street. However, he didn’t just spit it on the street, a large part of the offending goo, thanks to prevailing wind conditions, ended up on my leg as well. Now to this I took enormous offence and told him in no uncertain terms that I was incredibly unhappy about his blatant disregard for other people. And he simply replied, ‘It’s my culture to spit. If you hate my culture then you’re racist.’
Again, dumbfounded, and this time with the added insult of a maxillary gland’s worth of snot smeared down my leg to boot.
These are, of course, culturally sensitive times in which we live, but is the situation now simply escalating to ridiculous levels of unaccountability? I open the floor…