Is it 'cos I is black?

Couldn’t resist that title, sorry. Nonetheless, I realise I’m treading on politically correct hallowed ground here, so I shall continue with caution.

A few months ago I was in the car, and as I pootled down my very quiet residential street an enormous Audi pulled out in front of me at a crossroad. It was my right of way, and his path was clearly marked with a stop sign. My beloved Rover was literally three inches away from collision and I was, of course, fuming at this person’s incompetence, and to demonstrate this, slammed the horn. His response was to turn around and give me the finger. My blood boiling with fury, the most cathartic word I could manage to expel with force was ‘TOSSER!’ Glaring at him, he then rolled down his window and shouted back to me, ‘Racist!’

I was speechless. The fact that this guy was Asian had never even crossed my mind. Anyway, he drove off and I continued to, in that quintessentially British way, mumble under my breath about the injustice of it all.

Having put the incident to the back of my mind, I was walking to a friend’s house the other day when a seemingly inebriated guy shouted across the road. ‘Hey baby! You’re foxy aren’t you?’ Now my usual approach to this kind of idiocy is to ignore it, or perhaps glare at the offender in a suitably disgusted way. The latter was the approach I took this time, which simply yielded the response ‘Oh yeah! I like them with attitude!’. Stampeding on ahead, I then upped my game by shaking my head and rolling my eyes. The bloke in question then turned to his grinning friends and slurred ‘That white girl, I guess she doesn’t like us blackies eh?’ And then they all laughed and high fived each other.

And then this morning, as I was coming back from the shops, a man hawked back an inhuman amount of mucus and spat it out on the street. Now I find this absolutely disgusting, and cannot see any justification whatsoever for spitting on a public street. However, he didn’t just spit it on the street, a large part of the offending goo, thanks to prevailing wind conditions, ended up on my leg as well. Now to this I took enormous offence and told him in no uncertain terms that I was incredibly unhappy about his blatant disregard for other people. And he simply replied, ‘It’s my culture to spit. If you hate my culture then you’re racist.’

Again, dumbfounded, and this time with the added insult of a maxillary gland’s worth of snot smeared down my leg to boot.

These are, of course, culturally sensitive times in which we live, but is the situation now simply escalating to ridiculous levels of unaccountability? I open the floor…




5 thoughts on “Is it 'cos I is black?

  1. Josh says:

    Is that why you get annoyed with me when I hawk something up during a fag break then? Its not my fault, I smoke and I have asthma… racist…

  2. I suppose it’s like having a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card. Whenever the world appears to be in your way, announce that your race/religion/sex is being discriminated against and you’re guaranteed to get your own way.

    Not saying I agree, but I certainly understand why such an effective (if infantile) excuse is so commonly used when people feel the need to justify themselves in the face of this “cruel world that won’t listen.” Still, it doesn’t surprise me that it makes some people so infuriated they think that voting BNP would actually be a good idea.

    Out of interest, do you ever watch The Boondocks? (If not, you should. 😉

  3. I would agree with Daniel below on the first and final case you mention – they just say it because it’s hard to argue back at them in the street without being overcome with liberal guilt and/or making people stare at you. It’s like kids at school saying they’ll report the teachers for assault if they tell them off.

    In the second case I think it’s just that guy reassuring himself that he is in fact, a sex god, and your rejection of his manly charms simply means there’s something wrong with *you*. If it had been a white guy he would have called you a lesbian.

  4. Dad says:

    I just got a good deal on a whole pickup full of crosses ready for burning. Let me have the addresses and me ‘n the boys will make a few deliveries…. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s