Conversations with Virgin Technical Support

So less than 24 hours after having Virgin Broadband (XL) installed, I find myself storming around the house terrifying my housemates because I’m on deadline and I can’t get online.

Unable to locate a single piece of the seemingly endless paperwork they sent us in the previous weeks, I end up getting the ‘Broadband Helpline’ number (chargeable, naturally) from a friend and finding myself in a voice-recognition battle with a lifeless machine asking me for my landline number. DON’T HAVE A LANDLINE NUMBER. So I get cut off. Repeat. Get cut off. I then pit my wits against the machines by MASHING EVERY SINGLE BUTTON ON THE KEYPAD until I am given a set of options. Eventually I am put through to a human.

Me: Could you please give me a more direct phone number to contact you on, in case this happens again?

Virgin: I’m afraid not. The number you rang was correct.

Me: Yes, but I only got here by mashing buttons.

Virgin: Yes.

Me: So you’re saying that the only way I can contact you is by mashing the buttons on my mobile and hoping I get lucky?

Virgin: That is correct.

Me: By mashing buttons?

Virgin: Yes. Let me transfer you to tech support.

Brilliant. Enjoy our £30 a month, fucknuts.


One thought on “Conversations with Virgin Technical Support

  1. I feel your pain with Virgin, I really do. Our internet works fine, always has but it’s the TV that never worked and of course, it costs a fortune to call from a mobile. Have you tried complaining to them on Twitter?

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